Guest Post: Positively Slow

25 Jun

Today’s guest post is from Kepa, also known as The Fat Lazy Guy(no-more). Kepa has lost over 280 lbs., and did it all by his terms, keeping it simple. The thing I love about his blog is that he truly shares his life, from how he eats an apple to the foods he’s itching to try during his road trip in America this summer. He also plays a mean guitar!

–C

Carly asked me to write a post for her blog as she’ll be away. She said it should fall into live, laugh, or grow (or all three). My first thought was, “I have absolutely no idea about any of these things!” And I’m still struggling. I guess this could fall into live and grow?

One thing I’m trying to learn to do in my life is accept positive things. I don’t know if you’re anything like me, but I find it hard to take a compliment. If someone compliments me it’s because they’re obligated to, or they’re just being nice. They’re trying to make me feel better because it’s so obvious that the opposite is true, but it’s kind of them to try.

What about when you give compliments? Do you mean them, or are you just saying it because you’re obligated, because you’re trying to make someone feel better? If you’re like me, you value honesty, and you’ll say things because you mean them.

So what are we now operating under? A double standard. We say things because we mean them, other people say things because they’re just trying to save our feelings. That’s kind of a crappy way to paint people, right? It’s almost a holier-than-thou attitude.

But chances are our friends, the people we like who are telling us these things, we like them because they have similar values to us, or values we like. They’re probably honest people like us, too. And if people we don’t know are telling us nice things, how can we read their minds and discover their motives? We can’t.

Say a friend told us that they thought we looked hideous today, they didn’t like what we were doing, and they hated the sound of our voice. We would be hurt. We would take what they said to heart. So why can’t we take the POSITIVE to heart too?

I’m trying to rethink things. Slow things down. Stop going to my automatic response and instead take everything in to account. I have to realize the person telling me nice things is honest. They would give me constructive criticism if I needed it. They wouldn’t lie.

Maybe that’d help you too?

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One Response to “Guest Post: Positively Slow”

  1. Kim Ayres June 27, 2010 at 12:00 PM #

    There is the flip side to this, which is when you reject a compliment, it’s rather like refusing a gift – which can be a bit rude and insulting to the giver.

    Learning to say “thank you” when someone offers a compliment is a powerful thing. Not only does it help you, it validates the person offering it.

    Good post, Kepa 🙂

    And hello Carly 🙂

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